the crankmuffin conspiracy

Climbing nuggets need a name, so I took action:

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Urban Dictionary

But it seems the old garde at Urban Dictionary had other plans:

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Urban Dictionary
A crankenfrank’s (crankenstein’s) biatch. See also: crankenstein
Obviously that crankenfrank’s crankmuffin has a humongous badonkadonk.

Not cool, editors.

It was me and Phil at the Tor Saturday. We’ve really come full circle. After an uncharacteristically populous season at Santa Maria’s finest crag, it is Phil and me, once again, as the keepers of the flame. Yeah, I said it – you all let a good cliff down – Elhanan, Andy, Justin, Micah, Andree, Skip, etc… Don’t think the Tor didn’t notice. You played right in to her hands and now she laughs. Who now will send her projects? Feel bad.

I had a good burn on Better Than Life, which made me feel pretty good about the first day of the season.

da routes:

  1. Power of Eating (5.11d) – redpoint
  2. When the Sea Doesn’t Want You (5.12a) – redpoint
  3. Chips Ahoy (5.12d) – redpoint
  4. Better Than Life (5.13c) – 2 falls. I took first at the fourth bolt, so that’s from the ground to just before the throw to the hueco. I’m pleased with that for day one.
  5. Shatterhand (5.12d) – A bunch of falls. This route still sucks.
  6. Anchor Punch (5.12a) – A bunch of falls. At this point, I’m done.


  1. Uhh dude… I was at the Tor on Friday and I cranked everything. I’m downrating Atreyu to 5.12b.The ranch was rad. Bosco’s got a hit out on you for ditching him this weekend. Watch your nuts

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